Head is FULL

So I mentioned in my last blog the wall I hit.  Typically when your stress level gets to a point you break down so does your immune system and your allergies turn into infections.  Darn ragweed! On Monday afternoon I called Brad and asked if he could leave early as I started to feel really really bad.  It’s now Thursday, 2 shots later, taking 2 different antibiotics, headache has subsided and starting to feel like myself again.  I had an awesome nurse who was able to get me back to health again too!  I was basically quarantined to my bedroom since Monday night because life still does goes on and Cody has his in home therapy, Brad is working and Cameron is schooling.  This time gave me a lot of reflecting time and what was weighing heavy on my mind.  These four topics keep popping up in my head with many thoughts scrambling to figure out a way to put them on paper.

  • Unspoken love
  • Tough decisions
  • Finding clarity
  • Birthday celebration

I started writing so I could release.  I typically start anywhere from 2-5 blogs in a week and it might take several weeks before I finish.  I am a processor especially when its successes and accomplishments for my family. I might on the surface celebrate but it does not completely soak in for me until a few days (or weeks) later.  A lot gets jumbled up in my head and if I don’t release good or bad then my anxiety kicks in, worry sets in and I am not able to keep my positivity and advocate which is all I know how I contribute in our families journey.  Not to mention the joy and sense of positivity knowing that I am secretly (I say that because many moms reach out to me privately) helping them cope with a recent diagnosis or a referral for a behavior issue that needs addressed.  It takes a Village.  I am one of those Moms too who reach out privately and sometimes public to my support group depending what I need.

So this week, I thought I would try something different and just put those four topics out there. Share what my current thoughts are even if there not complete.  So here goes:

Topic 1 – Unspoken Love.  Observing, people acknowledging, viewing current and past photos of the love that Cody and Cameron have for each other is fuel to my soul. The relationship between these two is so strong and warming to my heart to watch.  They both have had to find their own way to bond that is not a normal brotherly bond.  I will never forget when Cody received his diagnosis and Brad and I met Cam at the bus stop so we could go on a walk to discuss what all this would mean moving forward for our family.  We also shared that there was a lot of answers that only time will unfold.  Since then, no words are spoken but love pours out when you see the two of them together. They are not glued at the hip and both live very busy individual schedules but at least once a week (sometimes twice) you can feel the protection Cam has for his brother and the small action Cody gives to Cam to tell him how loved he is.  It’s really a moving experience and every once and a while our family and friends observe this same feeling and it fills  their hearts when they share it with Brad and I.  You often hear when you take one sense away it makes your others senses heighten. I believe that.  Cody and Cam do not need words to exemplify this kind of love they have for each other.

Only an older BROTHER can love like a FATHER, annoy like a SISTER, care for like a MOTHER and support like a FRIEND. Thanks bro.


Topic 2 – Tough Decisions.  Recently I was given some great advice on a very tough and controversial topic all parents who have children on the spectrum deal with. Vaccines.  Just to be clear, I am not judging and have very dear friends who are pro and anti-vaccines. I am only sharing how Brad and I are went about handling this tough decision we have next week at Cody’s 4 year old well check appointment.

1st.  Do your own research.  Not another Moms blog but credible research in which that has been replicated in large blinded studies.  Anecdotal evidence is the least credible.

2nd Ask questions and do your homework before you see your Pediatrician.  If you have questions on ingredients on certain vaccines or if you have concerns they use vaccines with thimerosal or want to delay vaccines, ASK.

3RD Stay opened minded and reach out for other opinions.  Stay strong and weed out what YOU need to take from all the feedback given to you.

4th.  You know your child best and you know their health history. (Genetic disease, Mitochondrial disorders, etc.)

5th.  Whatever you decide, don’t kill yourself by second guessing.  Make the best decision for your family based on your own research.

Lastly, look forward from that point on! This last tip given to me stuck with me the most.  No doctor. mom, dad, coworker, friend, family knows your child better than the parents.  Whatever decision you make, look forward from the point on and continue making strides in your child’s development.

I know I have a few more topics that I did not discuss but need to conclude for now as Cody and I have 3 hours together before his therapy starts back up at 5pm today!  Its mommy time!             

Published by mamalamaneustupa

Bio My name is Shelley Neustupa. I am a mother of two cool boys and a wife of 22 years to my high school sweetheart. My oldest son attends the University of Oklahoma. Boomer! My youngest is in 2nd grade and was diagnosed with Autism and Mixed Receptive Expressive Disorder at age 2. Since his diagnosis, I promised him I would advocate and educate as hard as he works each day in therapy. I began writing and have been able to touch many parents that may be new to this journey providing them with actual experiences (not candy coated), support and resources through my entries. Writing is my therapy and my hope one day that my nonverbal son will be able to take these diaries and speak about his own journey and how autism relates to his own experiences. Who knows he and his older brother may become National Speaker’s one day? Come along on our journey to better understand our lives through the eyes of a boy with autism, his Skilled Companion dog Jude, his big brother (and best friend) and mom and dad. My raw vulnerability captures the everyday moments of our journey and will bring even more awareness. A week does not go by where we do not learn something new about ourselves and I want to share these chapters with you. My Sons Undeniable Strengths… Extremely smart and figures out things quickly. Has a memory that allows him to remember more things than I could ever hope for. Persuasive by his personality and sheepish looks. Overabundance of stamina and strength. Loves the outdoors. Enjoys life and always has fun with an unforgettable smile. You can find us here: Writer: Autism Through His Eyes Facebook Instagram YouTube Pinterest Canine Companions for Independence News Interview Cody and Skilled Companion Jude - Our Story

2 thoughts on “Head is FULL

  1. You are such a beautiful and inspirational writer . Who knew this would be another gift Cody would be a part of for you . I’m proud to know you !
    Love you so much,


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