Worrying about life. What a waste of time right? Think if you took all the worry out, how much you could view life for what’ present and truly live in the moment and feel the small joys and accomplishments that happen on a daily basis with those that surround you?
Driving back from the school this morning and Tim and Faith’s song came on and it made me realize the constant worry Brad and I have had since the day we started 2018. Yes, most people would say, you will be OK or it’s out of your control or just breathe and be patient but is it?
No matter how prepared and how much fine print you read, it can all rear back just like a horse in fear and confusion.
I kept telling myself I was NOT going to write on this discussion, but I think its important for people to know the real struggle many many many families experience when in comes to health insurance and that having a backup plan in place sometime needs a Plan B in place too.
Just as a horse, you can be fully prepared and have precautionary steps in place but if a horse becomes in fear or frustrated, it can rear up placing you in danger of being unseated, fallen on or struck. Imagine if a horse rears while hitched on a vehicle? It can injure itself and destroy equipment and other vehicles around.
This is how I feel today.
Back in July of last year, we learned our current insurance policy was being pulled out of the private plan policies. Looking at options with Cody’s current therapists, there were none. Literally none unless our primary employer policy decided to carry coverage. Now keep in mind 3 years ago, we had 6 options. Last year, we had 2 options and this year, we had none. So luckily, it was only July and our provider agreed to apply to become in network with the ONE private plan that would be avialble in 2018. We felt it should be a fairly simple process considering she was already in network with the main company (BCBS) and this plan was just a branch of them.
Fast forward to October, our CPA helped us ensure we selected the right plan with this policy and we learned that our provider was still not in network. They then learned that we could do a single case agreement and not to worry in the event they were still working out the paperwork to become in network when January 1st rolled around.
In November, we decided to sign with really our only option unless we wanted to change providers. This was not at the time even an option we wanted to consider since we felt we finally had a stable team of therapists in place. We then learned we needed a re-evaluation for Cody. An angel was watching over us this day and Cody’s doctor with a 6 month wait was able to get us in 2 days before Christmas and a full detailed report ready by January 2nd to submit to our insurance.
We looked at this as a good (yet expensive) problem to complete because we learned a lot about Cody’s autism since his last evaluation two years ago. It gave us a road map if you want to say, of what we needed to ensure happens over the next 2 years. We learned the next 2 years is vital to his development and future and we needed to be sure to give him everything in our power providing consistent learning in all enviroments and passionate therapists that have already built a rapport with Cody.
January 2nd we got the call from our provider that no single case agreement was allowed with our policy to offer Cody’s services and our provider is not in network.
I will spare you all the ugly, wasted time, salty tears and energy that we have all had to worry about between January 2nd to today. I have really tested myself like never before in my life. I am trying to put all my energy into my work and my family to stay positive. Just as Charlie Brown says, “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening, but it just stops you from enjoying the good.” I have had to avoid “explaining the story” to all of our concerned loved ones over and over just so it would not deflate me and change my mindset. It’s important for me to stay in the present and try my best to focus on the good.
We have paid out of pocket since January 1st because we can’t and won’t interrupt Cody’s therapy. We have aggressively looked at other providers and even looked into appealing Cody’s insurance policy. There is nothing we can do at this point but wait. How do you take that worry away? You can’t. So, I look at Plan B and Plan C and honestly pray more.
When you face difficult times, I know that challenges are not sent to me to destroy me. They’re sent to promote, increase and strengthen me. I keep funneling my energy into things that make me happy and try my best to make sure that all parties involved with Cody’s development are working hard and not burdened with these details.
The good fortunate thing is we have been blessed at many successes from Cameron and Cody’s development lately and that is where I believe has been a nice distraction even if it only lasts for a few seconds of the day. Cameron earned a spot of the high school baseball team this year. He was determined, focused and worked so hard this year and we could not be so proud. He took his first bus ride to Highland Park Monday night with the Varsity Team as their bull pin catcher.
I wake up each day to this quote, “I am only ONE, but I am one. I cannot do anything but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”
For me that is fighting for Cody’s medically necessary therapies and giving Cameron the best high school experience.
Fast forward to today. We received a small piece of hope last Friday when Brad followed up with our insurance that we possibly may have our current provider in network by March. We naturally still worry because it’s pretty hard to trust anything they say after the false hope we received last fall. We are hoping to check in weekly and tag team with our provider between now and then. Plan B and Plan C have been discussed but have put them on hold for now. We hope our Team Cody will continue fighting. We have such a good team right now but also know we can’t continue paying out of pocket.